The CamBROdian Experience

The G.S.E.A.S. adventure continues..  After Saigon, we hopped on yet another bus, prepared to leave Vietnam, and headed west to Cambodia. Country #2!

Cambodia was the poorest out of all the countries I visited. I thought Thailand was dirty, but Cambodia definitely takes the cake. The amount of poverty around you is so blatant that it's astounding. There's just a huge lack of infrastructure, especially roads. In Thailand, when you take an overnight bus, they make fairly regular stops, and they will even wake you up in the middle of the night for a pit stop. In Cambodia, we took a sleeper bus (beds, but no bathroom!) from Siem Reap to Phnom Penh. At some point as we went bounding over the unpaved rural roads, I realized we were't stopping, probably because there was nowhere TO stop. Around 2am, I couldn't take it any longer, so I made my way up to the driver to ask, "Toilet?" What does the man do? Pulls the bus over to the side of the road, which is surrounded by nothing. I think I'm the only one who's hopping off the bus and squatting next to the road to do my business, but it's only when I'm standing up that I see other people (mostly guys) also getting off to relieve themselves. Hi, nice to meet you, here's me peeing. That's probably an experience I won't be forgetting soon.

Anyways, we ended up calling it CamBROdia because we were reunited with our travel buddies from Hanoi, and let's face it, a lot of ridiculousness went down in this seemingly lawless land.

Our first stop was a brief one in the capital of Phnom Penh, with a visit to the Khmer Rouge killing fields at Choeung Ek. This is one of the most heart wrenching and moving places I have ever been to. Read about the atrocities of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge between 1975-1979 here.

The next day, we headed south to the beach at Sihanoukville, or as we like to call it, Snooky. Because it is that kind of place that deserves to be named after a Jersey Shore character. This is like the Jekyll and Hyde of Cambodia, if not all of Southeast Asia. Literally, the two sides of Sihanoukville are night and day.

My, what a lovely beach town we have come upon..

It looks so innocent, but deep down, this place is just raw and unfiltered hedonism, and it's dangerous. Lovely beach during the day, but at night Snooky will suck you in and crush your soul/liver, so it's better to not linger too long.

After a stay in Snooks that saw me get 603 bug bites (yes, we counted) on my legs, we headed up to Siem Reap and Angkor Wat. The temples are beyond belief, so that will have to be for another post.

1,000!

1,000 views! Wowza! Never thought I would hit this milestone, so thanks to all the readers out there! You guyz rool.

GSEAS, Part 2: Vietnam - Nha Trang & Saigon

After just over 2 months on the road, I am finally back in Salaya, and just beginning my second semester of teaching. Instead of trying to sum up most of the trip (post-Hoi An), which included trips to southern Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia, Indonesia, and Hong Kong, I've decided to take more of a photo essay approach using some of my favorite shots. Let's take a peek at the rest of my time in Vietnam, from Nha Trang south to Saigon and the Mekong River Delta..

Next up, country #2 on the G.S.E.A.S., Cambodia..

Popping In

Can you just "pop in" to your own blog? I think you can. Anyway, I'm doing just that so I inform all of you loyal readers (hi Dad) that I'm working on posts about the rest of my G.S.E.A.S. and about being back at school! Which just started! Yeah! In the meantime, here's a terrifying owl in Bangkok:

Feels Like I Only Go Backwards

It's been exactly 3 months (and one day) since I arrived in Thailand. Everything I've read about culture shock says that this is around the time when the initial honeymoon feeling wears off, and the shock really begins. For me though, I think it came in reverse. I spent probably the first month and a half in Thailand really frustrated and overwhelmed. Since I arrived a few days late, I felt like I had to play catch-up to my fellow teachers. Though they had only been here a couple days longer than me, they had already made friends, explored Bangkok some, and were picking up the language. I felt like a huge fish out of water. In retrospect, I think I was still pretty stressed from my whole "stuff getting stolen" ordeal and being thrown into the middle of orientation didn't help much.

When we finally got to Salaya, it wasn't much better. Just trying to get groceries was a huge undertaking, and my normal comforts and stress relievers were nowhere in sight. I consider myself a pretty adaptable and patient person, but this was challenging me like nothing else before. There were a lot of tearful days where I thought to myself, "Holy shit, did I just make the biggest mistake of my life? What the hell am I doing here?! I am clearly more of Western European gal."  If you had told me 3 or 4 years ago that I would make the decision to move to Asia for a year, I would have laughed so hard and said, "Yeah, okay, and then I'll become pope after that." Asia had never interested me as much as Europe, so when Thailand wasn't fitting perfectly, I thought maybe my year-plus-long plan to move here had been a dream or a delusion. Though there were good days or moments that validated the move, they didn't come around as often as I might have liked.

Fast forward to Month 3, and I am finally feeling more comfortable here. The smells don't bother me as much, I can navigate the market and buy food, and Thai sounds much more like a language as opposed to just gibberish, not to mention I can catch a word here and there!  Sure, there are some days where all I want is a huge bowl of guacamole and a Fenway Frank, but the the homesickness is not nearly so acute.

Though three months doesn't seem like that much, especially since my contract is for a year, we are only about six weeks away from the end of the semester (and summer vacation!!). The six-month teachers are winding down their stay here, while I feel like I am just hitting my stride. At one month, I was afraid of being honest when someone asked me, "So, do you like Thailand?" But ask me now, and I can say that though it took a while and the relationship is still complicated, I do.

Tourist vs. Resident

Before I left the U.S., I must have answered the question "What are you doing?" a million times. When I told people that I was teaching in Thailand, that usually prompted some response detailing their familiarity with the country: "OH! I went on vacation there last year!" "I know a girl who taught there!" "My best friend's cousin was in Bangkok once.. I think.."

My automatic reply was "So, did you/they/he/she like it?" and the overwhelming answers were YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES. People adored it, they had the most amazing time, what an incredible place. "You are going to LOVE IT there!!!" Needless to say, this led to a build up in my mind of Thailand being a paradise -- the most BALLIN place on Earth -- and questioning why I didn't make the move earlier.

Well, after 6 weeks, the jury is still out on whether I love it or not, but I have come to the (probably obvious) realization, that the experience of visiting the country for a couple weeks is polar opposite from living here and engaging in daily Thai life. When people come for vacation, they visit the historical temples, chill on the beach for a few days, and explore gritty Bangkok. They get the briefest taste of what Thailand is all about, and it's specially curated for the tourist and their delicate sensibilities. What they don't see is the life that regular Thais lead.

Daily life in Thailand involves dirt, litter, and stray dogs.. all in massive numbers. And when it's hot and humid (which is, uh, every day), it STANKS. I have to ride a motorbike to school 5 minutes down the street because there's no sidewalk and I would probably get hit by a car flying down the four lane road if I tried to walk on the side. When it rains, it floods because there's terrible drainage everywhere, so good luck getting anywhere.

Traffic is pure insanity: I am talking bumper to bumper any time of day, any day of the week. Recently, it has been even worse (how is it possible?!) because of the enormous protests in Bangkok.. but that's another post for another day. School has its own set of frustrations; let's just say the Thai school system makes American schools look like finely tuned machines filled with perfect angels.

Tourists relaxing at a resort don't have to battle with the language day in and day out; they don't have to deal with the simple task of buying a movie ticket turning into a ten minute ordeal involving five movie theater employees (true story). They don't find themselves standing in the aisle at Tesco Lotus, staring at the shelf and trying to figure out which box is dish soap and which one is laundry detergent.

And frankly, they don't have to contemplate a run-of-the-mill Thai menu. This is not your American pad thai, y'all. I'm talking fermented fish and other crazy stuff. I will admit that this stuff may appeal to some, and I am a lifelong picky eater, but after a while you just find yourself pining for a grilled cheese or a steak. In an upcoming post I will compare just how big the difference is between the menus from real Thai restaurants and ones in America.

This probably sounds like one big bitch-fest, and in a way, it is. I've been frustrated with a lot of the things here (yay culture shock!) but it's all part of the process. There are, however, plenty of things about this country that are incredible and that I enjoy. I love how friendly Thais can be, I love being able to travel on the weekends and do some pretty sweet stuff, and all the while, I'm having an experience like no other.

I'm still learning how to navigate Thailand, and discovering what I like about it. Really getting to know a place doesn't happen overnight, and it will probably take a couple more months, so until then, I will just have to practice saying "mai bpen rai" when I really want to say something else.. and maybe take up meditation. For real this time.

Suffering is Inevitable

It wasn't supposed to start this way. I had done everything right: bought everything I thought I would need, done all the paperwork. I thought that the more things I got, the "better prepared" I was, the less anxious I would be. I told myself that if all my bases were covered, I would have a little more peace of mind. In the end, none of that mattered.

“The very first noble truth of the Buddha points out that suffering is inevitable for human beings as long as we believe that things last—that they don’t disintegrate, that they can be counted on to satisfy our hunger for security.” ― Pema Chödrön

Buddhism, which is the main religion of Thailand, teaches us that craving things of this world leads to suffering, since they never last and they can't satisfy us. This lesson slapped me in the face just three hours before I was set to depart from the US, when my brother's car was broken into and all my luggage, everything I needed for my year in Thailand, was stolen.  I had put so much weight into having all the things I needed, that when they were gone in an instant, I was left feeling vulnerable, completely unprepared, and distraught. All of a sudden everything I was anxious about hours earlier seemed really petty and silly, and I quickly realized that I would have to head out to Thailand with significantly less "stuff" than I had anticipated. Though I might not feel as prepared the second time around, it would have to do, since I didn't really have a choice.

I have definitely had some moments where I think to myself, "It would be great if I had XYZ.. oh wait, I did, in my original suitcase," but the feeling passes pretty quickly, especially since there's no point in dwelling on it. It was a lot easier to travel for 24+ hours with only one suitcase to worry about.. no overpacking here! And it's an excuse to go shopping for Thai things!

Things are impermanent, and not what life should revolve around. We can't rely on things to make us feel safe or provide us with fulfillment. Having more things won't help me learn Thai (Di-chan mai kao jai), teach my students, or adjust to life here. You could say that the experience was also my introduction to the Thai attitude of "mai bpen rai" which means "don't worry."

Until next time, I will leave you with a view of an elephant ride in the River Kwae: