Before I left the U.S., I must have answered the question "What are you doing?" a million times. When I told people that I was teaching in Thailand, that usually prompted some response detailing their familiarity with the country: "OH! I went on vacation there last year!" "I know a girl who taught there!" "My best friend's cousin was in Bangkok once.. I think.."

My automatic reply was "So, did you/they/he/she like it?" and the overwhelming answers were YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES. People adored it, they had the most amazing time, what an incredible place. "You are going to LOVE IT there!!!" Needless to say, this led to a build up in my mind of Thailand being a paradise -- the most BALLIN place on Earth -- and questioning why I didn't make the move earlier.

Well, after 6 weeks, the jury is still out on whether I love it or not, but I have come to the (probably obvious) realization, that the experience of visiting the country for a couple weeks is polar opposite from living here and engaging in daily Thai life. When people come for vacation, they visit the historical temples, chill on the beach for a few days, and explore gritty Bangkok. They get the briefest taste of what Thailand is all about, and it's specially curated for the tourist and their delicate sensibilities. What they don't see is the life that regular Thais lead.

Daily life in Thailand involves dirt, litter, and stray dogs.. all in massive numbers. And when it's hot and humid (which is, uh, every day), it STANKS. I have to ride a motorbike to school 5 minutes down the street because there's no sidewalk and I would probably get hit by a car flying down the four lane road if I tried to walk on the side. When it rains, it floods because there's terrible drainage everywhere, so good luck getting anywhere.

Traffic is pure insanity: I am talking bumper to bumper any time of day, any day of the week. Recently, it has been even worse (how is it possible?!) because of the enormous protests in Bangkok.. but that's another post for another day. School has its own set of frustrations; let's just say the Thai school system makes American schools look like finely tuned machines filled with perfect angels.

Tourists relaxing at a resort don't have to battle with the language day in and day out; they don't have to deal with the simple task of buying a movie ticket turning into a ten minute ordeal involving five movie theater employees (true story). They don't find themselves standing in the aisle at Tesco Lotus, staring at the shelf and trying to figure out which box is dish soap and which one is laundry detergent.

And frankly, they don't have to contemplate a run-of-the-mill Thai menu. This is not your American pad thai, y'all. I'm talking fermented fish and other crazy stuff. I will admit that this stuff may appeal to some, and I am a lifelong picky eater, but after a while you just find yourself pining for a grilled cheese or a steak. In an upcoming post I will compare just how big the difference is between the menus from real Thai restaurants and ones in America.

This probably sounds like one big bitch-fest, and in a way, it is. I've been frustrated with a lot of the things here (yay culture shock!) but it's all part of the process. There are, however, plenty of things about this country that are incredible and that I enjoy. I love how friendly Thais can be, I love being able to travel on the weekends and do some pretty sweet stuff, and all the while, I'm having an experience like no other.

I'm still learning how to navigate Thailand, and discovering what I like about it. Really getting to know a place doesn't happen overnight, and it will probably take a couple more months, so until then, I will just have to practice saying "mai bpen rai" when I really want to say something else.. and maybe take up meditation. For real this time.